


I Tried

by ExplodingDick



Series: Destiel Prompt Fills [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 09:35:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13567812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExplodingDick/pseuds/ExplodingDick
Summary: “What about me, Dean?” Cas’ voice is gravelly, tired. “What about my feelings? I thought they’d count for something."





	I Tried

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fill for the prompt, "I tried."

“Dean, I’m sorry. I can’t go on like this.”

There’s a long sigh at the other end of the phone. “Cas, don’t do this to me.”

“I’m not doing it to you. I’m doing it for me.”

“C’mon, man, we’ve talked about this. You know my dad wouldn’t get it. And Sammy needs me here. He’s goin’ off to Stanford but he’s gonna want me here when he comes home on breaks. And Lisa. She still thinks I’m sweet on her. She-“

“Lisa?” Cas’ voice falters on the name. “I thought you told her.”

“What was I supposed to tell her, Cas?” Dean’s voice carries through the phone too loudly than he'd intended. “Oh, hey, I know my dad set us up ‘cause he thinks I need help with getting chicks, but really I’m just gay and in the closet and I had to pretend to be into you because there’s no way I’m ever coming out to him.” He huffs out a breath. “Do you know how much that would hurt her, man?”

There’s silence on the other end. “What about me, Dean?” Cas’ voice is gravelly, tired. “What about my feelings? I thought they’d count for something, especially next to someone you’ve only known for two weeks and don’t even-“ Cas pauses. “Do you have feelings for her?”

“What? No, Cas, ‘course I don’t. I don’t dig chicks, man. And even if I did, I’m in love with you.”

Dean’s admission is breathless, and if Cas were hearing it for the first time, he’d believe it was sincere. But it isn’t the first time. It’s been two years. Two years of late-night phone calls and secret weekend meetings and hasty car sex whenever they happened to be in the same vicinity.

“I’ll come out to them soon, I promise,” had turned into “I’ll move away soon, I promise,” to “I just don’t know, Cas.”

Cas grips the phone, his decision settling heavy in his stomach. “I don’t believe you.”

“What? Come on, dude-“

“No.” His voice is stronger this time, and something about it stops Dean from plowing on. “I tried, Dean. For two years I’ve waited and tried to make it work. I believed you. I trusted you. And I can’t anymore. I’m sorry.”

“Cas-“ The phone clicks.

Castiel takes a long, shaky breath in. He gazes around his apartment, at the bed in the center of his room. Only one side slept in, the other waiting for the man he knows now will never come.

Taking quick, short steps, he kneels down and pulls a suitcase out from under the bed. He sets to filling it with any clothes he can get his hands on.

He’s going to travel the world, just like they’d planned to do together, back when he was fresh-faced and hopeful. He isn’t going to wait for anyone anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Kudos and comments are highly appreciated :)
> 
> Reblog this fic on [Tumblr](http://explodingdick.tumblr.com/post/170478200331/i-tried-for-the-angsty-deancas)!


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